
The appointment itself was very disappointing. The neurologist Dr Farrell came across as judgmental and dismissive, suggesting that my symptoms might be exaggerated or imagined, despite my clear explanations and the supporting observations of multiple professionals and people close to me.
I explained that my NHS GP, my HCA specialist, and my Bupa doctor had all independently recognised my neurological decline and recommended that I see a neurologist. I also made it clear that my symptoms were not stress-related - my NHS doctor had actually prepared me for this appointment by enrolling me in a stress management course specifically to rule that out beforehand. Despite this, the neurologist repeatedly challenged what I said, often rephrasing my statements inaccurately. At one point, she remarked, “You’re the only one who has witnessed and confirmed this,” even though I had stated several times that healthcare professionals, work colleagues, and family and friends had all noticed my decline.
I found this approach extremely frustrating - I may be forgetful due to my condition, but I am not an idiot. How can my symptoms be “made up” when I have, on several occasions, accidentally taken double doses of my prescribed medication simply because I forgot I had already taken it?
To be completely honest, I also felt there may have been a cultural element to her attitude. She appeared to be Caribbean by her accent, and as someone of Caribbean heritage myself (though born in the UK), I sensed a strong cultural bias. Her facial expressions while I spoke often appeared strained or uncomfortable, almost as if what I was saying physically pained her to hear. Historically, Caribbean women are often expected to be strong and stoic - to “just get on with it” - and it felt as though she viewed my seeking medical help as unnecessary or self-indulgent. At times, it even seemed as though she believed I should be grateful simply to be seen by a private specialist, despite the fact that the appointment was covered by my Bupa insurance.
Overall, the experience left me feeling unheard, judged, and disrespected. When she asked about my profession, she seemed surprised by the level I work at and the respect I have earned in my field, which only seemed to increase her discomfort. At one point, I had to speak firmly to reiterate that I am highly regarded in my role.
I have a follow-up appointment with a neuropsychiatrist, but after this experience, I am honestly not looking forward to it. I can only hope that they will be more open-minded, empathetic, and willing to engage with both my account and the clear evidence provided by other medical professionals.
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Memory Disorders