How to support a friend or loved one with mental health issues

Not all mental health experiences are easy to spot, especially if you are inexperienced, let alone know how to support them. Challenges like anxiety, depression, grief, or trauma are common and often invisible. When mental health challenges are overlooked they become more difficult to treat over time.

 In this article, we focus on sharing compassionate ways to recognise, understand, and learn how to support and care for a friend or loved one while protecting your own wellbeing along the way. Showing empathy and letting them know you are truly there can make a meaningful difference in their everyday lives.

Start by noticing the signs

Some signs are easier to recognise than others when people struggle with inner difficulties, particularly those that are observable such as changes in mood, withdrawal, irritability or changes in sleep or appetite.

People might also lose interest in things they once loved, now feel constantly drained with low energy levels. However, some signs may not be as easy to observe, such as negative or self-critical thoughts gradually giving way to feelings of sadness, hopelessness or irritability.

By becoming aware of these early changes, you can respond and provide support while things are still manageable and potentially prevent them from getting worse.

Listening without trying to fix

You can start by simply letting them express how they feel and what matters most to them, avoiding to direct them based on what you believe, feel or dismissing their emotions. Just being there without trying to fix them can be therapeutic itself.

Some phrases can minimise what they’re going through and it is better to avoid them, such as “it could be worse” or “everyone feels like that sometimes,” as these can unintentionally deepen distress.

Some helpful and supportive phrases can be:

• “That makes sense.”
• “I can see how difficult this is for you.”
• “I’m here to support you in whatever way I can.”

 As Comfort Shields, Clinical Psychologist, Dr Comfort Shields highlights that distressed people often feel better when they feel heard and emotionally safe. Listening with presence rather than trying to fix their problems, can reduce shame and make it easier for them to seek support.

What not to say or do

Knowing what and how to say something when someone is distressed can reduce the emotional load. Even if you have the best intentions to help someone, phrases like “just stay positive,” or “don’t think about it,” can send the message that their experience and their feelings are not being taken seriously.

Often people are pressured  to stop feeling the way they do before they are ready or try to compare their pain to that of others, which can invalidate their experience. What most people experiencing emotional difficulties need is someone who is willing to stay with them and offer support over time

Encouraging professional support

While support from friends and loved ones can help, it might not be enough for someone experiencing severe mental health difficulties. Gently encouraging them to speak with a GP, psychologist, or therapist can be a meaningful step toward recovery. 

Opening up a conversation about how they feel about therapy and mental health care can make them feel better. These gentle and encouraging conversations can create space for someone to consider professional support. 

Doctify helps make that first step easier, offering a way to find trusted mental health professionals.

Supporting day-to-day wellbeing

Helping them with small, everyday acts such as cooking a meal, going for a short walk together, or simply sitting quietly in each other’s company can reduce the emotional load and loneliness.

Often, distressed people may withdraw, if this continues over time, it can intensify their symptoms. However, offering company rather than pushing them to socialize, can feel more supportive.

Sending a simple message or a quick call showing them that you are there for them can lift their mood. This can be enough to create a sense of safety, supportive environment and remind them they are not alone.

Setting healthy boundaries for yourself

Caring for someone who’s going through hard times can be deeply meaningful but it can also drain your energy. It’s important to remember that you cannot be their only source of support, and that helping someone often takes more than one person and that’s okay. 

Setting healthy boundaries isn’t selfish when they are communicated respectfully. For example, setting limits around abusive behaviour can help prevent burnout and resentment from building up.

This balance allows you to care for the person you love while also looking after your own wellbeing.

When to seek urgent help

Often, people who are highly distressed present with some warning signs you need to pay attention to. These may include suicidal thoughts, withdrawing completely from loved ones, or crisis behaviour.Such signs should be taken seriously, even if you’re not completely sure. 

In moments like these, it’s better to act quickly, by calling emergency services, contacting a crisis line, or helping the person access urgent care.

Sometimes you need to trust your gut if something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it. Reaching out, even in a small way, could be the moment that helps protect the life of someone you care about.

Reassurance and closing thoughts

You don’t need to be an expert to support someone. What matters most is kindness, presence, and a willingness to listen without judgment. 

Encouraging someone you care for to seek care is one of the most powerful actions. No one should have to carry their struggles alone, support is always out there, and help is always available.

Find the best depression specialists in the United Kingdom or explore options globally:

• Depression specialists in Ireland
• Depression specialists in the United Arab Emirates
• Depression specialists in Australia
• Depression specialists in Germany
• Depression specialists in Austria

Medically Reviewed
Last reviewed on 20/01/2025