How grief can affect your mental health long after a loss

You may be sitting on your couch or in front of your computer when the thought quietly appears: why does this still hurt so much? You might have expected that what you have been through would have eased by now. Yet, grief is still here and persists. 

In the early weeks or months after a loss, you may feel yourself trapped in a ‘prison’, but as time passes, you may experience longer or shorter stretches of normality. It’s common and understandable for most people to experience deep sadness, guilt, and shock about the person who has gone. 

What does prolonged grief actually look like?

It’s not easy to accept the loss, you may speak about them in the present tense without realizing it. Even a long time after the loss, you may see someone who looks like them and feel that something is missing. You may realize that some conversations seem long and flat, as though you’re watching them happen rather than fully participating in them.

There are times when you think you had better take a different route so you don’t pass places you used to go together, or spend hours looking at old photos and remembering things that you did together. Putting simply, grief can feel like reliving moments with the person who has gone.

How can grief affect mood and daily functioning over time?

Grief can affect you in multiple ways. Activities you used to enjoy, such as meeting friends, running, or even watching your favourite show, may feel flat and meaningless, leaving that gap in the heart. Simple decisions, such as what to cook, may now seem exhausting as your energy is very low and you feel almost unable to complete daily tasks. 

For many people, this means they start avoiding gatherings because they cannot easily follow what others say, and they don’t want to explain how they are feeling or pretend to be OK. Sometimes, alongside grief, worry may creep in about your own health and future.

How does long-term grief affect sleep and the body?

You may feel that mornings arrive too early or wake up at 3 a.m. with your mind full of bittersweet memories of your loved one. The constant body and mind changes you’re going through may leave you feeling drained, even after a full night in bed, with your body never properly rested.

It may be followed by tension in your head, or you may feel your neck tighten and your chest feels heavy. This means that grief is not just in your mind, your nervous system carries it too, with your body trying to find a way out.

When does grief become complicated or clinically concerning?

If you’ve been struggling for a long time even with minor work tasks or general daily tasks like cleaning, managing finances, making simple decisions or if thoughts about the person who has gone dominate most of your days, this may suggest that your grief has become more complicated.

You may feel that a part of you has gone with your loved one, and thoughts of self-harm may start to creep in just to escape the pain. If this happens, you may consider getting help as early as possible before symptoms become unmanageable.  

What coping strategies support long-term adjustment?

You can help reorganize your nervous system by taking some simple steps. You can create a sense of stability by getting up at roughly the same time every day, along with  preparing meals, taking a short daily walk, or watering plants. 

Volunteering, meeting a friend for a short coffee, or returning to a hobby once enjoyed for ten minutes at a time can help you reconnect with parts of yourself and start regaining a sense of purpose in life. Speaking openly to a trusted friend or joining grief support groups can ease the isolation and help you express the way you feel about the person who has gone and about life in general. What feels small and meaningless today can slowly become tomorrow’s strength.

Adjustment doesn’t mean you move forward forgetting the person, but slowly integrating the loss into your life story.

When should someone seek extra professional support?

No one can say for sure how grief will unfold for any of us. You may feel consumed by sadness or longing most of the day. You may have frequent tears, anger outbursts, or moments when your emotions feel too intense to manage.

You might notice more tension in your relationships or feel that work has become harder to manage than it used to be. You may worry that your mood doesn’t improve but remains low and flat, and start to see your future as bleak. If this begins to feel like more than you carry on your own, it may be a sign that you need to see a therapist to help you accept and talk about your emotions and help rebuild a  sense of meaning.

Healing isn’t about eliminating them entirely but learning how to meet them with awareness and self-compassion.

Dr Comfort Shields, Doctify-reviewed Clinical Psychologist

Finding support and moving forward at your own pace

Moving forward doesn’t necessarily mean you leave someone behind, it means that you still carry the bond with you in a meaningful way. Grief rarely disappears overnight, but you can learn to manage it and work through it with the help of a specialist. Seeking help is a sign of courage, strength, and awareness of your condition, not a personal failure.

If grief feels too heavy to go through alone, platforms such as Doctify can help you find trusted psychologists and mental health specialists by allowing you to choose the right therapist after reading verified patient reviews. Remember, you’re not alone.

Find the best depression specialists in the United Kingdom or explore options globally:

• Depression specialists in Ireland
• Depression specialists in the United Arab Emirates
• Depression specialists in Australia
• Depression specialists in Germany
• Depression specialists in Austria

Medically Reviewed
Last reviewed on 23/02/2026